How to Pick the Right Coach

Coach One

Finding the right coach can be challenging but is essential for growth and clarity. I recently sought coaching from someone different than my usual coach. I struggled with an issue, and a woman on a coaching forum offered her services. I share this experience to highlight the importance of finding the right coach for your needs.

The session began with her asking what I wanted to discuss. I shared my concerns about my son and how to navigate our conversations. Normally, I’d take this to my regular coach, but I thought her perspective might help.

She asked detailed questions about the conflict but focused on irrelevant details. Her questions included, “Why does he feel this way?” and “Where does he get his news?” She then spoke for 25 minutes, sharing her opinions about the situation.

By the end, she asked what I wanted to do. I felt lost, having never explored my feelings or fears during the session. I left feeling embarrassed, agitated, and judged. It was clear she was not the right coach for me.

Coach Two- The Right Coach

Finding the right coach changes everything. I took the same situation to my regular coach the following week. He started by asking what I wanted to discuss and ensured clarity on my goals. He asked about my feelings, my hopes for my relationship with my son, and why these mattered to me.

We discussed my concerns and my past attempts at communicating with my son. He helped me reflect on my approach and how my son typically responded. The session focused on my feelings and goals rather than unnecessary details.

By the end, I felt clear about my next steps. I decided to share my worries with my son while affirming my respect for his values. I left feeling confident and supported, knowing he was the right coach for me.

How to Avoid Coach One

Finding the right coach requires knowing what good coaching looks like. I assumed the woman from the forum had formal training, but she didn’t. She called herself a coach based on life experience. Without proper training, she lacked the skills to support me effectively.

I’ve been there. Before my training, friends praised me for helping them, but I wasn’t coaching—I was mentoring. I gave advice based on my experiences without considering their unique circumstances.

One day, Coach One will likely be a great coach after completing her training. When that happens, she will be the right coach for someone else. Until then, her sessions lacked the skills needed for transformative coaching.

-Ask the coach where they received their coach training and how many hours their program was.  We recommend that they have at LEAST 65 hours of education

-Ask them if their program is International Coaching Federation (ICF), Association of Coaching (AC)  or National Board of Health and Wellness Association (NBHW)

-Ask him/her if they are mentored. It is important that coaches continue to grow as coaches. 

Why It Matters

Finding the right coach is vital to ensure you leave sessions feeling empowered, not worse. After my first session, I felt judged, which could have harmed my relationship with my son. Thankfully, my regular coach helped me find clarity and confidence.

Always choose the right coach—someone trained, experienced, and focused on your unique needs.

The coaches in our community are quality coaches who have all been highly vetted.  Visit our directory of coaches if you want to find one today.